You are totally afraid of the KFC Chicken, aren't you? Your life has been improved significantly, hasn't it? |
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Bogus Argumentation
Facebook is evil. I have formed 4 distinct arguments, each distinctly showing bad things Facebook does.
Contention 1- It skews people's view of identity and removes it. By forcing people to write in the 3rd person, it causes them to not view themselves as themselves. Thus, they no longer have a sense of who they are and separate from their body. This is how ghosts are created, though it used to only happen when people talked in the third person. Society views talking in the third person as annoying as a natural defense mechanism against becoming a ghost. Facebook has subverted this natural defense.
Contention 2- Poking. Facebook encourages random poking. Poking is highly rude and annoying.
Contention 4- Bad reading Habits. Facebook encourages bad reading habits. Facebook usage can cause one of any of these:
Contention 1- It skews people's view of identity and removes it. By forcing people to write in the 3rd person, it causes them to not view themselves as themselves. Thus, they no longer have a sense of who they are and separate from their body. This is how ghosts are created, though it used to only happen when people talked in the third person. Society views talking in the third person as annoying as a natural defense mechanism against becoming a ghost. Facebook has subverted this natural defense.
Contention 2- Poking. Facebook encourages random poking. Poking is highly rude and annoying.
Poking is bad. |
Contention 3- Graffiti increase. Facebook encourages users to write on walls. User's can do this on Facebook, but it shows that writing on walls is acceptable. Facebook thus increases crime levels in the form of graffiti.
Writing on walls is bad. It's a crime. |
- Reading to close to your face (causing eye soreness)
- Writing on One's Face (So others can see your Facebook page)
- Reading People's Faces (trying to find words resulting in weird looks for both parties)
Because of all of this, it becomes dreadfully clear of the evils of Facebook. Facebook is bad. I urge my readers to cancel their Facebook accounts and thus disassociate themselves with all the people they know online.
Disclaimer: This is satire for those of you who can't tell. None of this is to be taken seriously.
Disclaimer for the disclaimer: I don't expect my readers to be dumb. Don't worry. Don't take offense that I wrote a disclaimer.
Disclaimer for the disclaimer's disclaimer: I didn't call those of you who didn't know this is satire dumb. The people who decided that Pop-tarts need instructions on how to heat are dumb. And I'm not presuming you're all easily offended. I'm just covering my tracks against law suits.
Disclaimer for the above disclaimer: I have a freedom to press. I can write what I want. And I don't expect you to necessarily want to sue me. (Cue repeating loop of disclaimers. Repeat until no longer possible to be offended)
Disclaimer for the parentheses: The loop may never end, so be warned before commencing the loop.
Disclaimer^5: This is still satire. And this one is to the fifth because the last one wasn't to the disclaimer. It was to the parentheses.
WOTW #7
Up for lucky number 7:
Pareidolia (ˌpæraɪˈdəʊlɪə)
— n
the imagined perception of a pattern or meaning where it does not actually exist, as in considering the moon to have human features
[C20: frompara- 4 + eidolon ]
This is exactly how I feel about the "evidence" for evolution. The evidence is only peceived connections, no actual solid evidence. Whether evolution is pareidolious (I don't actually know if that's how it's properly conjugated or not) or not, it's why I don't really believe it.
Pareidolia (ˌpæraɪˈdəʊlɪə)
— n
the imagined perception of a pattern or meaning where it does not actually exist, as in considering the moon to have human features
[C20: from
This is exactly how I feel about the "evidence" for evolution. The evidence is only peceived connections, no actual solid evidence. Whether evolution is pareidolious (I don't actually know if that's how it's properly conjugated or not) or not, it's why I don't really believe it.
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