Limericks

Limericks are my favorite form of poetry. They are generally funny, and are rather fun to compose.
For a description of limericks go here. Some think they are always obscene when they're good, but honestly, I beg to differ.
They follow this pattern:
A
A
B
B
A
A's are longer, and B's are shorter (syllable-wise)
A's rhyme with A's and are all of a similar length, as with B's.
Here are a few of my own compositions:

A Vampire's Problem
Oh no, I ate some garlic and I'm stuck with a stake,
But I'm not dead even when I'm under a stack of rakes,
Mold and muck covers my head,
And I'm stuck between dead and undead!
I guess I'll become a Houdini and go jump in a lake!

I'm aware the pluralization in the second line sets it a bit off.

The Stache Lover
There Was Once A Boy With a Bell,
He loved moustaches, anyone could tell,
But one day he found,
He lacked a stache, "zound,"
He said, "must've knocked off my stache with my bell!"

Unfortunately, I had to start the second with a specific line, but I think I made it work.
These first two can be found here, along with two other poems of a type I can't remember, as they were for an English class. Two random people say they liked them, plus some of my family on the site.

Doodle War
Oh, how tragic, what a shame, I had come so far,
when my enemy used the devastating Death Star,
but wait, I can come back,
by inserting a massive tack
I can leave the Death Star a giant scar!

This one and the next few were written for two different competitive speeches in the event called expository. The above was written to capture the spirit of the Doodle War, where two people attempt to outdoodle each other.

Hyper Mobile
Not many are incredibly hyper mobile,
And it is almost always quite noble,
It’s a useful skill,
and it brings a thrill,
and it's the opposite of all things immobile.

This one is about double jointedness.
 
Contortion
An interesting thing is contortion,
Though those who can do it is a small portion,
It’s easily a fun job,
Though weirder than a giant glob,
And the pay is sometimes out of proportion.

This one is specifically about contortionism as an occupation.

It’s No Syndrome
Hyper mobile is no syndrome
As I prove when my foot doth roam
I feel no pain
Properly done it’s plain
That it’s no harm abroad or home

This limerick is about the myth that hypermobility is a symptom of a disease. It only rarely accompanies a disorder.

Double Jointed
I like double joints as I like pie
For which my liking is rather high,
I’m double jointed
And as I pointed
So I sponsor double joints with a great AYE!

I used this all encompassing limerick to close my speech.

Brown Skies
It's happening in every town,
The skies are turning a lovely brown,
Nobody else likes it,
I'm told to fall in a pit,
But this brown will never make me frown!

This last one was a limerick I had to write that had to correlate with the environment in an English class (different than the other English class). I don't believe in man-made global warming (I am more than willing to rant on this topic), so I did smog. I should hope the fact that it was shorter than most people's didn't hurt my grade.

Those are all of the limericks I have written for now, though next time I write one, it will show up in a post.

Gibbinater's Law of Mathematics

I have recently dicovered a mathematical trend. It is that any number squared is exactly one higher than the number right below it and the number right above it multiplied.

A possible formula is thus: x^2=(x-1)(x+1)+1, where x is any number, whether rational, irrational, negative, positive.
A simpler formula is this: x^2=ab+1, where a=x+1 and b=x-1.

A few examples: x=98969 98969^2=979482961 while 98968 x 98970=979482960
x=pi pi^2=9.8696044010893586188344909998762 while pi-1 x pi+1=8.8696044010893586188344909998762 (pi numbers are approximated)
x=0 0^2=0 and -1 x 1=-1
x=10 10^2=100 and 9 x 11=99
x=-3 -3^2=9 and -2 x -4=8

Random Mathematical trends make everything so much nerdier!

The only use I can think of is that when deciding who is better after 2 tournaments, when one guy got 1st and 3rd, while another got 2nd twice, it would mean that the guy who got second twice would be better.

If it turns out someone came up with this already, let me know.

Another completely worthless thing is that how you want to choose objects in a straight line so that the next object you choose isn't consecutive to the last in a line of four objects.

Each of these is an object.
a b c d

The combinations that result in no consecutive choices are:
b-d-a-c or c-a-d-b

I am quite sure that one is next-to worthless, as few of us will enocunter a booby trap that requires the pressing of buttons or selection of objects so that one choice and the next aren't consecutive.

If anyone reading this is worried about my mental state because I take the time to figure this out, fret not for I only think upon these matters when my mind rests idle without anything to occupy it's attention.

If you are still worried because I lapsed into an outdated mode of speech or because I inserted a disclaimer concerning my mental state, I simply have to say: I am as sane as a human can be.